Wednesday, May 7, 2014

HuffPost is OUTRAGEOUSLY, OVERWHELMINGLY EPIC

I get a lot of my news from the Huffington POst.

Not information, mind you.  Nor analysis.  But I learn what's new and noteworthy.  You know, news.

But I may not be able to keep reading the fucking thing.



At one sitting, I ran across the following . . . hyperbole . . . in the headlines on the "Front Page":

Overwhelming number. . . .

15 Shocking Facts

Have NO FAITH . . .

[ ] is going insane. . .

Devastating. . .

Brilliant . . .

DISGUSTING

More Epic

Creepiest

Hilariously Bad

Crazy

Offensive

Ludicrous

Unfettered

Defining

MAJOR

Best

Extremely Embarrassing


Let's see. 
The "overwhelming number" had "lost faith" in an institution.

The "overwhelming number" referred to was, depending on the matter polled, 51%, or 60%-30%, or 80%-20%. 

 Leaving aside that none of those percentages is "a number," when I applied the factor to determine the "overwhelming number" of people who'd lost faith in something, I came to 810.  Of the 1004 polled.  By a partisan polling group.

People give CNN a lotta shit about "breaking news" -------- Breaking News -- Obama still president;  Breaking news -- missing plane still missing -------------- but this is even more egregious, in my humble estimation.  Everything is breathless.  Everything is

well, not everything,; I don't wanna go into my own hyperbole

so much is breathless, begging for those eyeballs and clicks.

And, of course, the article itself said "wide" and not "overwhelming"




Fuck 'em



I'm going native -- no punctuation, epic post.

No monumental fail here. . . .

And I won't go into my anger and dismay, reading that someone "graduated college" or "graduated high school"                you've heard all of my shit about the buttfucking of the language, I can't help it if they want to hang their mistakes out there

there -- I've gifted you my insights


7 comments:

Mister Parker said...

I've lost faith in Matt Williams figuring out what to do with Ross Detwiler. Does this count? This quote from the paper: "[A]s a reliever this season, he ranks 180 out of 191 relievers in the average leverage index, meaning only 11 other relief pitchers have been used in less meaningful game situations than him."

Meanwhile the Dodgers have jumped out to a 1-0 lead off Strasburg -- in the first inning, of course. What is it about the Nats in the first inning?

Mister Parker said...

Make that 2-0.

Although I'm watching the game via the liberal lame-stream media which is controlled by huge conservative international conglomerates so who are you going to believe?

Mister Parker said...

My current least favorite word is "impactful."

Mister Parker said...

If Dan Haren goes out and pitches a shutout for the Dodgers today, I'm going to be so peeved.

Span leads off with a single to right.

Mister Parker said...

So help me, if the Nats don't take advantage of runners on the corners, one out, here in the bottom of the fifth, I'm going to stop reading Huff Post forever.

Mister Parker said...

Well, they got one to go ahead 3-2. Is that enough to keep me reading Huff Post? Not sure. Maybe I'll go every other day.

Mister Parker said...

Nats win, 3-2. Huff Post is safe for another day.

Wait, what does Huff Post have to do with the Washington Nationals? Sometimes I just don't understand your blog ...