Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Cinemaniac Reviews Twenty Questions (Part Two)

A continuation of yesterday's quiz from Cinemaniac Reviews.

11. What film gets your vote for the worst or most pointless remake?

Jeez.  There are so many bad ones.

I’ll begin by saying that I think it would be hard ever to find a “pointless” one.  Why, the point is to make as much money as possible, for the least creativity, at the expense of gullible folks who don’t know any better.

How can that be pointless?

So instead, I can focus on bad.  Hmmmm; I’m stuck in the now.  Total Recall (2012)?  Nah; the original was crap, and I doubt this one sunk the franchise any lower.

The Thing (2011)?  Well, it comes closer to “pointless” (as the quiz intends the term), since the John Carpenter remake was such a great flick.  But I doubt that it was “bad.”

I’ll choose The Thin Man (2013), with Justin Timberlake and Rachel Evan Wood.  Timberlake is surprisingly good as Nick, but Evan Woods is so goddamned serious as Nora that it irks me.  And Joe Eszterhas' script was . . . shall I say “ham-handed”?


12. Is there any film you think is actually desperate for a remake?

I think that Night Shift cries out for it.  Maybe we could get Josh Radnor and Justin Timberlake to star. . . .

Wait, I think that Mister Roberts should be made.  The story and its themes are profound, would appeal to the younger set, and would nevertheless entertain. Perhaps we could make up for that disaster with Fonda. . . .

PS  I’ll miss Betsy Palmer, though.  ROLF!

13. Name your three favorite film heroes.

Humphrey Bogart's Sam Spade (Maltese Falcon) – how can I resist that self-aware guy unburdened by sentimentality?

 Mathieu Amalric’s Jean-Dominique Bauby  (Le Scaphandre et le Papillon [the Diving Bell and the Butterfly]) – I would have
 Just. Given. Up.

Walter Matthau’s Miles Kendig (Hopscotch) – 

Are you perhaps a wine salesperson ?       

That’s Follett; he’s an idiot.  Probably no film in the camera.       

Figaro figaro figaro figaro.

Matthau’s Charley Varrick came close here.  But I can’t get this one out of my head.

14. Name your three favorite film villains.

Austin Pendleton’s Dr. Carl Becker (Simon)  -- what a weasely sonuvabitch!

Lee J. Cobb’s Juror # 3 (12 Angry Men) – don’t think that you’re not this guy – you are.  You just have to run smack-dab into your prejudices.

Wilfred Brambell’s Grandfather (A Hard Day’s Night) --  He can't help having a hideous great hooter! And his poor little head, trembling under the weight of it!

15. Best sequel?

I was going to go with Talk Dirty To Me Part 2, but I’ll stick with the conventional and go with Godfather II.

16. Worst sequel?

 Exorcist II: The Heretic.

17. Best trilogy?

I haven’t a clue.

18. Worst trilogy?

Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 (which George Dickhead Lucas insists on calling “1, 2 & 3”).  Excrement on the heels of some fine, fun movies. . . .

19. What’s your favorite word to use in a movie review (if your film blog does not feature reviews, substitute “review” with “-related post”?)


20. Anything else?

I wish that I’d balled Dana Delaney when I was younger.


Mythical Monkey said...

I wish that I’d balled Dana Delaney when I was younger.

You know, she said the same thing about you when she answered this quiz.

Well, at least I think she did.

Erik Beck said...

I am having serious China Beach flashbacks. And there was a girl in my 8th grade class who looked just like her, when China Beach first came on.

And by "when I was younger", does that imply you balled her at a later point?

And, had to enter this twice because the captcha seriously gave me a bathroom sign for male / female. How the hell was I supposed to enter those characters? I don't have restroom signs on my keyboard.

mister muleboy said...

mister beck:

Amazon offers the "Loo / Numeric Keyboard" as a SUB 2.o device. It has English and International restroom sizes. You'll pay more for the international unit, but it'll be worth it in the end.

As the Mythical Monkey can attest, I did indeed have that pleasure (in 2009). Although I'd like to carve a notch and feel triumphant, it didn't go as well as I'd hoped, and was repeated only for a short, short time. Which I lament.

btw, she remains theBombDiggety, and is smart and funny. But she doesn't suffer fools gladly, and has little patience with them. I offer myself as Exhibit A. . . .