Monday, May 7, 2012

I am a stupid douchenozzle

Interesting weekend.I did abnormal stuff, but I did stuff like digging and planting hydrangeas.






I know.


I also had some moments I'm not proud of. I came within two inches of a fistfight. And, fortunately, my lady friend had never seen me in my

I don't give a shit if I get my ass kicked. Or killed.*
frame of mind.

She now has.  Unfortunately.

It only happens once every five years or so.  If it happens in traffic, I usually come flying out of a car into the middle of moving traffic with an [accurate] look conveying "I am going to kill you."

It has only once resulted in anything more than furious men screaming at each other. 

I wish I hadn't had it happen this weekend.

It involved a Phillies fan and traffic, so I'm sure that you understand. . . .


*Having reached deep enough depressions that I've planned to kill myself, and have thus looked at living on the street, or getting beaten up, or countless other bad things, as acceptable -- I don't give a damn -- this just happens.  It's really stupid, because I have ton of great stuff to live for.  Fucking Phillies. . . .

5 comments:

Lupner said...

Planting hydrangeas cancels out the getting-into-screaming-match-with-rude-Phillies fan in my book, esp. if it followed that event and hopefully brought down your blood pressure. I honestly don't know how people manage to keep this type of thing from happening much more frequently in the insanity of the whole traffic thing up there ... it sounds like a parking lot event (unless you chased him down the highway) ... parking lots are among the meanest places one can be. There are times when it becomes very, very difficult to ignore certain types of behavior.

I'm glad no blood was shed.

Mister Parker said...

You are absolutely not a stupid douchenozzle. You are, in fact, one of the smartest douchenozzles I have ever met.

I kid.

And the Phillies fans were having the same effect on me until Werth hit that home run. That's just normal human behavior ...

Tomanonymous said...

You allowed a Phillies fan to live?!? Where's a 'stand your ground' law when you need it?

Who Am Us Anyway? said...

On the 4th hand, sometimes -- probably not most of the time, but sometimes for sure -- persuasively conveying to another gentleman that you are as a matter of fact not afraid to take his punch is the only thing that prevents the gentleman from swinging that very punch. Peace through the projection of psychotic nihilism -- it's a proven anti-bully survival test practiced by me and countless others on junior high school playgrounds down through the ages. And probably got us through the Cuban Missile Crisis as well :-)

mister muleboy said...

And probably got us through the Cuban Missile Crisis as well :-)

Well, it may have gotten us through the Cuban Missle Cirsis.

JFK got through it on dilaudid and quim. . . .