Monday, December 12, 2011

The Socialist RIght Wingers

I had an interesting time this weekend as I did a little moonlighting at a parade.

As you can see below, I picked up a few extra bucks working a local parade in a small, semi-rural exurb of a larger East Coast city.  The kinda town surrounded by farmland and horse farms.  A friend lives in the town, and he hooked me up with the MILF you see driving.

no one can accuse me of slacking. and NO, it wasn't mine. . .

My friend's property abuts the town  thoroughfare.  When I arrived, I was surprised to see a large truck parked in my friend's driveway, with a  PA in the truck's bed.

Further in, I saw a huge crane that was half on my friend's property, and half on the local church's property.  The crane was in the process of raising a magnificent, enormous American flag.

I was immediately confused -- my friend is nothing if not an unrepentant pinko.  And the idea of him inviting this bunch to take over his property -- and block his driveway -- seemed. . .


My confusion was immediately removed.  These were some surprise guests!

When my friend and I inquired why the truck was parked in his driveway, the beefy man moving the equipment said "I grew up over on 97."

My friend's bride allowed that this wasn't a comprehensive answer.

"I went to school right over there" he said, pointing.

This still didn't make sense.  Further exchanges were difficult, as the PA was beginning to "pre-announce" the parade by thanking God for such a lovely day in this magnificent state in the most glorious country in the world.

Yeah, that really happened.  And neither "Chip," the truck owner, nor "Lowery," the crane operator, nor the parade organizers, would even discuss why they were setting up the parade grandstand on my friend's property.

It seems that the judges needed a good view.  Who has a parade without a competition,don't you know. . .

It seems that civic pride, and a faith in God, make ownership and property rights and all that jazz unimportant if it's in service to a parade to honor Ownership, and Property Rights, and this great conservative nation of ours (some signs made clear which party had the support of the majority of the parade's participants).

As they began cranking out some rip-roaring Christmas and patriotic tunes (many with a country tinge), my friend -- a member of BMI, the music rights organization -- and I went up to the parade booth to ask if they secured clearances or were paying their required fees to BMI and ASCAP to play the music.

A fistfight wasn't far off.

As many of my friends will tell you, I play an asshole on this internet, but in real life I'm a

more mild-mannered asshole.

And while I might snark in the background, I'm not actually intent on messing up town parades, or ruining a good time.  But the presumptuous, high-handed, disrespectful attitude of all involved got me to thinking that some of those folks probably sit at home yelling about Occupy protesters being on public or -- worse yet -- private land with no regard for what's good and right about this country.

And just so I save them any rise in blood pressure: mister parker or panna mukta tapti or the mythical monkey --  I wasn't really surprised that people could be hypocritical or willfully ignorant of the inconsistencies in their beliefs.  I was just steamed.

I'm never inconsistent.  Am I?

I kid

but those fucking fuckers really burned me.


Mister Parker said...

Me, I would have called the police, but that's just who I am -- a stone cold bummer, and an anti-social one at that.

mister muleboy said...

That's where we're different, bub

I am a chickenshit, so I would have hidden behind the curtains til they were gone

I'm brave on OTHER people's property.

It's why I can argue for other people, but give up the lunch money if it's mine. . . .

Who Am Us Anyway? said...

In WWI we see that suburban poets who would do anything to avoid arguing with a neighbor could and would charge machine guns to try to rescue a wounded buddy stuck in no-man's land etc.

Or someone insults our ladies? Suddenly we're not so chickenshit. I think it's just guy DNA. It's easier for us to stand up for our friends and family than for ourselves because we know THEY at least are worthy ...