Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's Official -- Bury Me

Well, it's official: I am an old man.

I wouldn't admit it the first time I sat down in a club during a band's set.

I wouldn't admit it the first time I used reading glasses.

I wouldn't admit it the first time that I postponed balling a woman until I'd finished doing something else.

Nope -- I wasn't old.

But I can't deny it any longer.

I now drive like a little old man.

My lady bought me a nice, new car for Christmas -- to give me something reliable for my endless commutes, and to improve my woeful gas mileage.
my downfall

It has a constant
fuel economy gauge,
showing me what I'm averaging at any moment, based on a simple algorithm.  So I see just when and how I'm maximizing fuel economy with my little five-speed baby.

The first drive, while babying the new engine a bit, I drove forty miles averaging 50-mpg.

Hmmmm; this thing might just work out.

Since then, I have put on nearly seven thousand miles (I slowed my 1000-mile-per-week pace, thank Gahd), and I've gotten 43.9 mpg.

With lots of city driving.

So if you pass a middle-aged man in the right-hand [slow] lane, puttering along just above the speed limit, pissing off everyone in the world, glancing down at his gauge cluster/dashboard with a grin, you can yell


fuck you, old man!






3 comments:

old tomanonymous said...

I say that to you when you're not driving, so what?


I'm old, but at least I'm (ever so slightly) younger than you ;-)

thingy said...

Gee, I hope she got something just as nice.

Yeah, just stay to the right, old man.

Who Am Us Anyway? said...

"Have you ever noticed how everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and everyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?" -- George Carlin :-)