Friday, July 23, 2010

Dammit, I Hate It When I Smack An Animal



So tonight, I hit my first deer whilst driving.

It really sucked.

What made it suck even more than I expected: it was a really big deer.

What made it really suck even more than that?

I was riding a motorcycle at the time.

An antique, mid-sized standard with narrow, 1982 tires.

Fucking deer leaped out just as I accelerated to full speed. Bounded out, ran parallel, then moved in to me.

Seemed to want to mate with Suzuki.




The bike and I both stayed upright. I spend most of my driving time scared out of my wits, and I look for deer all the time. I slowed as the beast made its way into the roadway. But i couldn't slow enough.

So I had affirmatively hit the deer in order to avoid having the deer hit me. Damned thing woulda knocked me over. So I hit it wif m' front tyre.

Fucker jumped, then made its way around me.

Not a great thing to have happen before gtting on DC's capital beltway, under construction, as the sun set on a Friday night.

Yes.

I'm an idiot. . . .

6 comments:

Who Am Us Anyway? said...

More like you're an absolutely first-rate rider who kept his head in a REALLY freaking dangerous moment, a moment in which many of us would've frozen up and ... died. Man.

Well done, Mr. Mule, well done. Was your bike damaged at all?

Mythical Monkey said...

Yeah, I'm glad you weren't killed by a deer.

I reserve that honor for me.

I kid. We kid because we love.

Seriously, don't get yourself killed, man.

Word verification: brati

Little Johnny Jewel said...

I'm with Mr Myth -- don't get yerself killed. We need you around.

Also, you croaking would make Mrs Jewel re-think her approval of me buying a 'cycle.

Like that's happening anytime soon...

¡barangus!™ said...

I assume, then, Mrs. Jewel doesn't read this pile-o-trash blog?

I think ease of dying was what kept me from cycling those many years ago.

mister muleboy said...

an absolutely first-rate rider who kept his head in a REALLY freaking dangerous moment

Who, I would have to find my head in order to keep it.


And although many have given me pin-point directions [roughly two degrees below m'waist, with posterior ingress], I haven't gotten close to finding the goddamned thing.

I have, though, had more than m'share o' luck. . . .


JohnnyJewel, I continue to advise: purchase, then seek forgiveness

mister muleboy said...

And Who, thanks for asking: bike suffered no apparent damage. Although I did find that it was low on oil. Leading me to wonder if the phrase "man, I was so scared I just shit" is known to motorcycles as well