I see that the Washington Nationals' Team Store will sell me an autographed ball -- autographed by Paul LoDuca.
For the privilege of owning this ball, they would like me to pay the sum of $129.99
I swear to Gahd that if they had offered to pay me $129.99, I would never in a million years have accepted the ball from that douchenozzle -- a-hole -- Captain Red-Ass -- dick -- steroid using effer.
He did marry a Playboy model, though. That was unpredictable. . . .