I cannot tell a lie.
I was not camping.
That few years I was outta touch?
I was having an affair.
She was not from Argentina, but she was from Minneapolis.
Which is like Buenos Aires, only colder and less "Spanish."
Sorta the Swedish Buenos Aires.
I feel really, really bad about breaking God's Law.
And disobeying his regulations, found at 41 C.F.R. Parts 303 and 304. . . .