Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I Feel the Impact

Okay -- first things first. If you use impact as a verb, stop it.

Just stop it.

Unless you mean to fix firmly by or as if by packing or wedging b: to press together. You know, like "the dentist impacted the filling before releasing the patient."

But you wouldn't use it that way, would you? You'd say "he filled the tooth" or "he packed it nicely, didn't he, Charlotte?"

No -- you'd use it in lieu of "affect."

Well, stop it.

And stop using it as a noun in lieu of "effect" [you know, "what impact will it have on the election?"] Just say effect.


We're killing a great noun, which is enormously effective for its metaphorical quality:

"The impact of her acceptance left him stunned" [you know, as if there'd been an . . . impact.]

Pretty soon, we'll wrestle anything useful out of the word, so that describing the impact of the car crash or the punch will leave people confused.

I am so steamed, you don't know . . . . .


You should follow my advice irregardless of your inclinations

Don't wank about, delying the gratification we all should, and will, feel.

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