Tuesday, December 18, 2007

the bind of aging and dissolute living

My sister sheepishly asked me -- following a revelation by her kids that I eat healthy stuff even at those times no one's watching -- a straight question: if I eat healthy, why am I still a fat pig?

I was able to answer her: (1) the quantity of some whole grains, even if healthy, was still too high [popcorn, even when popped up with no oil of any kind, is healthy, but needs to be reasonable]; and
(2) for all my "work," I still don't crank out the kind of sustained, high-energy exercise that I'll need to lose weight.

I'm on a good, solid, and happy run of increasing fitness these days -- a couple of months of faithful and steady strengthening got me to a place where I could consistently come in and do a forty-minute workout on an exercise machine.

But at my age, with my weight, it's gotta be sustained, daily, and intense to make any substantial dent in this corpus.

And there's the bind -- a big fat pig beats the living hell out of his joints [especially his knees]. A big fat drunk alcoholic pig who doesn't work out for years, even on the heels of quite a few years of decent workouts in the nineties, just about ensures that he's done nothing to strengthen the muscles that help those fucked-up joints.

So there's an arduous process to strengthening muscles enough to help joints to enable strengthening of muscles to help joints to enable strengthening of . . . . I assume you get my point.

It's one'a those vicious circle skies.

If my friends that join me here weren't all middle-aged, I'd advise (1) never stop working out; (2) never engage in alcoholic, dissolute living; and (3) never aging.

But you're all old fuckers too, so I have no advice other than to say: those of you in good shape, gahd bless ya, and to those who aren't, cinnabon rocks and nobody lives forever.

Having said all that, I am just a paragon of virtuous workouts.

Whose left knee balks at just about every goddamned thing imaginable.


considering my other current problems, who really gives a shit?

1 comment:

The Jestaplero said...

I think that's an odd question for your sister to ask. Since you gave up the demon rum, we've noticed every time we see you that you are noticeably slimmer and more healthy-looking. The difference in appearance between now and when you were at the hiehgt of dissolute living is night and day.

I think a hearty round of congratulations are in order.

Boy Howdy!